Hot Steaming Mess at White House Correspondents’ Association

Posted on July 1, 2018 by bitemaster

The annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner featured comedian Michelle Wolf as this year’s headliner. Apparently her jokes caused some controversy.

Donald Trump hated Wolf’s performance, saying she “totally bombed (couldn’t even deliver her lines-much like the Seth Meyers weak performance).” Ha ha! Seth Myers totally killed at the dinner in 2011!

Publications such as The Hill were scandalized by Wolf’s routine, as were several journalists. (They should reread Martin Niemoeller’s famous poem.)

WHCA President Margaret Talev issued a groveling apology to her members. Why? Because her organization handles credentialing of the journalists who cover the White House and she is probably afraid that Trump will take that away from her.

Does it matter? Not really; there’s really no need for credentialed White House correspondents anymore. The latest insight into the President’s thinking doesn’t come from his press office, it comes from his Tweets.

What we need from the mainstream media these days is rigorous analysis, historical context and investigative journalism, which they do . . . passably.

Source: Journalists Push Back On Correspondents’ Association’s Response To Michelle Wolf | HuffPost

Impeach Nancy Pelosi!

Posted on June 29, 2018 by bitemaster

In response to Trump’s “zero tolerance” immigration policy, Rep. Maxine Waters called for zero tolerance of Trump administration officials:

And if you see anybody from that Cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd. And you push back on them. And you tell them they’re not welcome anymore, anywhere. We’ve got to get the children connected to their parents.

Trump predictably fired back, calling Waters “an extraordinarily low IQ person.”

Did Pelosi, House Minority Leader, stick up for her fellow Democratic representative? Not on your life. Instead, she caved to Trump and called for more civility . . . on both sides:

Trump’s daily lack of civility has provoked responses that are predictable but unacceptable.

Pelosi is a coward.

Source: Nancy Pelosi rebukes Maxine Waters for comments on Trump administration

Top Democratic Congressman Loses Seat To N.Y. Democratic Socialist In Huge Upset

Posted on June 27, 2018 by bitemaster

In the biggest primary upset of 2018, powerful Rep. Joe Crowley (D-N.Y.) lost his seat to progressive political newcomer Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on Tuesday.

When asked whether she would accept a meeting with President Donald Trump, Ocasio-Cortez responded:

Probably not. I would probably want conditions. I would make demands, I’m not gonna give him a photo-op because he wants it.

She should have said, “I’ll know I’ve really arrived when he attacks me on Twitter. After that, we’ll see.”

Source: Top Democratic Congressman Loses Seat To N.Y. Democratic Socialist In Huge Upset | HuffPost

An open letter to NYC Mayor de Blasio

Posted on May 27, 2018 by bitemaster

Dear Jackass,

Now that your secret emails have become public, we’ve learned how much you hate the media. Apparently you never read Robert Townsend’s Up the Organization (1970), especially the part where he warns not to put anything in writing that you don’t want to come out later.

In response, you headed over to Room 9 to throw a hissy fit. In true Trumpian fashion, you didn’t apologize, you doubled down and flung further attacks on all three of the city’s newspapers.

You could have said, “As Mayor, you take a lot of heat. It’s part of the job and every Mayor has to deal with it. But sometimes it gets under your skin, so you vent to friends and associates. Afterwards, you go back to your job of doing the best you can for the citizens of this great city.”

That would have been my advice, But what do I know? I’m just a blogger here in the Transbaikal. I suggest that the next time the yak dung hits the fan and you’re thinking of holding a presser, you first consult with Mrs. Presser.

Sincerely,

Jerome Biteman, Editor
www.biteme.me

Giuliani stumbles into another fiasco

Posted on May 7, 2018 by bitemaster

Washington Post roasts Giuliani’s media performance: Opinion | Giuliani stumbles into another fiasco

I say it’s time to just throw random questions at America’s Mayor and watch what happens:

Do you think Trump’s casinos will make money this year?
Have you tried Trump Vodka?
Who’s in charge of the Trump legal strategy?
Does the President plan to sleep with any more porn stars?
Who’s a better lawyer, Jay Sekulow or Ty Cobb?
How long will it take you to get up to speed on the facts?
Have you ever paid off a porn star for yourself?
Have you ever paid off a porn star for a client?
What kind of messes do important attorneys like yourself clean up for their clients?
How do you know that there was no collusion between the President and Putin?

Don’t forget the popcorn!

Quote of the Day: Michael R. Caputo

Quote

Posted on May 4, 2018 by bitemaster

Michael R. Caputo, Republican political consultant and friend of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, on what it’s like to be grilled by Mueller’s team of attorneys:

“They weren’t pulling any punches, I don’t think I’m going to be friending them on Facebook any time soon.”

Source: ‘It’s all about collusion’: Former Trump adviser details interview with special counsel’s team – ABC News

NRA Convention Bans Guns To Protect Mike Pence

Posted on April 29, 2018 by bitemaster

Feel free to fill in your own joke.

Source: NRA Convention Bans Guns To Protect Mike Pence. Parkland Survivors’ Jaws Drop. | HuffPost

Cf. http://biteme.me/thousands-want-gop-to-let-angry-voters-bring-guns-to-republican-convention-in-case-of-isis-attack/

And https://www.cnn.com/2016/09/16/politics/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-guns-secret-service/index.html

Questions I’d like to ask President Trump

Posted on April 10, 2018 by bitemaster

What will you do to Robert Mueller after you fire him?
Do you plan to sleep with any more porn stars?
What’s the best part of being Commander in Chief of the world’s strongest army?
Why don’t you just lock up Crooked Hillary?
Will you grant yourself a pardon?
In the war between Amazon and Walmart, which side are you on?
Which country has spent the most at Mar-a-Lago since you became President?

Hat-tip to “Stuttering” John Melendez!

Biteme Exclusive: Andrew Cuomo running for Mayor of NYC!

Posted on March 11, 2018 by bitemaster

It’s been rumored for months, but now Biteme can exclusively report that our sources have confirmed that New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo is running against NYC Mayor de Blasio this year.

Cuomo has named the campaign organization Fix NYC. A campaign manager has not yet been named, but knowledgeable insiders expect it to be Joe Percoco, if his trial ends in an acquittal. The campaign slogan will be “Vote for Cuomo not the homo..”

Cumo’s key strategy will be to starve the MTA and NYCHA of funds, then blame de Blasio for their failures. The campaign plans to run advertising touting the governor’s many successes, such as preventing radioactive leaks at Indian Point, posturing about safety at homeless shelters, sending state troopers into the City to make it safe for the Peace Loving residents there, ending the scandal of nipples in Times Square, and putting an end to corruption in Albany.

Lawrence O’Donnell embarrasses himself on MSNBC

Posted on March 7, 2018 by bitemaster

O’Donnell was speaking with Robert Reich about Trump’s steel tariffs and said that Trump was totally ignorant about economics.

O’Donnell graduated from Harvard with a major in Economics. Trump graduated from Wharton with a B.S. in Economics. Reich studied some Economics in the PPE program at Oxford, but has no Economics degree.

Trump may be (ok. make that “definitely is”) an idiot but, at least on paper. he knows as much economics as O’Donnell or Reich.

The Bitemaster calls “Bullshit!” on O’Donnell.

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