It’s no secret that the Bitemaster loathes Airbnb. The latest news on these corporate scum involves their tax avoidance. They’re not alone, of course: All the big guys, like Amazon and Wal-Mart do much the same thing.
New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has filed a lawsuit (PDF) against Time Warner Cable, accusing the company of lying to both its customers and the FCC. The suit alleges that TWC “Systematically And Knowingly Failed To Deliver The Reliable And Fast Internet Access It Promised To Subscribers Across The State”
Beauty blogger Neely Moldovan and her husband have to pay their photographer $1 million in damages after a jury ruled they launched a smear campaign and destroyed her business.
Good one! Though the Bitemaster thinks the White House press corps should disband. Desk jockeys back in the newsroom can read and fact-check the tweets and faxes just as well.
Uncle Cecil — the World’s Smartest Man — answers the question you’ve all been asking. Hint: it had to do with the Cold War.
I lied! I said I wouldn’t blog about Trump, but here I’m doing it already!
My subject line says it all.
Nicholas Dibble thought that one of his neighbors was stealing his mail so he put some sort of trap in his mailbox. But he forgot to tell his letter carrier. Ooops.
Apparently the Post Office is not going to charge Dibble with a federal crime, just stop delivering his mail. But was Dibble relieved or grateful? Nope. His response was “I am the victim.”
One of the key reasons your Bitemaster stayed away for so long was the tsunami of idiocy emanating from President Trump and the Trump administration. Every day, the Real Media has been filled with examples of our Dear Leader’s calumny and prevarication. It wasn’t clear what your Bitemaster could add to the splendid coverage provided by the Real Media.
But now that he’s caught his breath, he’s returning to his duties as the Internet’s premier exposer of idiocy. Enjoy!
Your Bitemaster booked a cruise to the Lethargy Zone for himself, the Bitemistress and all the little bitty biters. After studying the travel brochures, he had visions of lying on a white sand beach with waitresses in bikinis bringing him Mai Tais. Unfortunately, somebody screwed up the paperwork and the family ended up at the Balea Ice Hotel in — as God is my witness — Cîrţişoara, Romania.
The local sherpas bring in news of the outside world several times a week and, if the reports are to be believed, the Trump administration is hard at work lobbing grenades at everything good and sacred about the United States.
In theory, the Bitemaster could keep posting from here, but turning the crank on the old Soviet-made generator gets tiresome really fast.
So what can you do in lieu of your daily dose of the bracing reality of BiteMe.Me? I propose that you watch Fox News and assume that everything is the opposite of what they say. For example, if Fox News says that the Trump Administration is running like a fine tuned machine, assume that it’s more like a beater with a broken crankshaft. If Fox reports that left-wing agitators are being bused into New Hampshire, it means that right-wing agitators are being bused into New York. If Fox News says the GOP has a splendid replacement for Obamacare, it means that medical care will be available to the highest bidder.
In the meantime, Noroc !