“We’re cops: we know donuts”

I don’t know where the quote at the top of this post comes from, but I do know that the police in Orlando FL don’t know Krispy Kreme doughnut glaze from methamphetamine.

The City of Orlando paid $37,500 to a man to settle a lawsuit after police officers arrested him for what they thought was meth but actually was glaze from a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

Cpl. Shelby Riggs-Hopkins pulled Daniel Rushing over after seeing him fail to come to a full stop when pulling out of a 7-Eleven store. She then used one of those “presumptive” field-test kits to determine that the flakes on the floor of Rushing’s car were meth, and took him to jail.

Fortunately, Rushing was able to post bail, and eventually the Florida Department of Law Enforcement did a more thorough test and determined that the substance in his car was sugar from a doughnut.

The scary part is that many people plead guilty based solely on the field test, and the substances are never re-tested by a crime lab. Yikes!

Source: Man arrested after cops mistook doughnut glaze for meth gets $37,500 from Orlando – Orlando Sentinel

Further reading on drug analysis: http://www.ncids.com/forensic/drugs/drugs.shtml

D.A. (“Dumb Ass”) Cyrus Vance Didn’t Prosecute Harvey Weinstein

In justifying his decision to let the movie mogul walk, the New York DA conflated two sex statutes.

According to media reports, Manhattan District Attorney Cy Vance had the goods on sleazy Harvey Weinstein (NOT Harvey Fierstein) since 2015, but chose not to prosecute.

We know that a $10,000 campaign donation from a Weinstein lawyer didn’t influence Vance because

  1. Vance told us so, and
  2. Vance is immune to such blandishments, like the time he received $25,000 from a Trump lawyer before dropping an investigation into Trump’s son, Donald Trump, Jr.

Be sure to read the Daily Beast article: Is This the Real Reason Cy Vance Didn’t Prosecute Harvey Weinstein?

And then peruse the Bitemaster’s previous posts on Cy Vance.

Chuck Schumer totally pwned by Trump

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer’s candid thoughts on President Donald Trump got caught on a hot mic last month.

In the audio from the Senate chamber, the Democratic senator from New York spoke with an unidentified person about his dinner with Trump the previous night.

“He likes us. He likes me, anyway,” Schumer said.

By “us,” Schumer presumably meant House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi who was with Schumer at the dinner.

After that dinner, the Democratic leaders said they agreed to pursue a deal to protect about 800,000 young immigrants from deportation. They said the deal would include border security measures but not the president’s proposed wall on the U.S.-Mexico border.

Later, of course, Trump added a pile of conditions to the supposed agreement he had made with Schumer and Pelosi.

Not only had he humiliated the country’s top two Democrats, he had done it using the very techniques outlined in his 1987 book, The Art of the Deal. The idea is that you start out by insulting your counterparts then, later, you make a tiny concession. At that point, the other side falls all over themselves in gratitude.

Worked perfectly on Chuck and Nancy.

Source: Chuck Schumer on hot mic: Trump ‘likes us’

See also Stockholm Syndrome.

IRS awards multimillion-dollar fraud-prevention contract to Equifax

The no-bid contract was issued last week, as the company continued facing fallout from its massive security breach.

According to our Data Security Consultant, MrMild, this is NOT a joke. Soon, I expect that the Feds will hire Arthur Andersen LLP to do auditing for the IRS.

Source: IRS awards multimillion-dollar fraud-prevention contract to Equifax – POLITICO

Christian terrorist kills 50 in Vegas. Trump says there were bad people on both sides.

Wayne LaPierre, the NRA’s Minister of Truth, said, “This proves that Americans need more automatic weapons.”

Alex Jones of Infowars said the shooting was a “false flag” operation designed to make the Alt Right look bad. “The whole thing was staged by Hillary Clinton’s ‘deep state’ operatives, operating out of a pedophile pizzeria in D.C.”

Colin Kaepernick’s mom fires back

Quote

After President Trump called Colin Kaepernick (and other athletes who have protested against racial injustice) “that son of a bitch,” Teresa Kaepernick, Colin’s mom, fired back: “Guess that makes me a proud bitch!”

Source: Colin Kaepernick’s mom fires back at Donald Trump’s criticism of national anthem protests

Jimmy Kimmel Reveals What Ted Cruz Really Masturbates to: ‘Poor People Without Health Care’

Ted Cruz’s Twitter account “liked” a porn video; later Cruz said it was a mistake resulting from a “staffing issue.” Sure, tell me another one.

In response, Jimmy Kimmel explained that ‘Ted Cruz masturbates to pictures of poor people without health care.’ Burn! (Watch the Kimmel video here: Kimmel Reveals What Ted Cruz Really Masturbates to: ‘Poor People Without Health Care’ (Video).

Cory Chase, the actress in the porn video, says that Cruz “pirated that video. He should have paid Reality Kings for a subscription.” Double burn!

Equifax data breach

You don’t need me to tell you about the recent scandal at Equifax, one of the Big Three credit bureaus. Their servers were hacked and the intruders got away with the personal data of nearly 150 million Americans — including full names, Social Security numbers, birth dates, addresses, and, in some cases, driver license numbers and credit card credentials.

How do I plan to get back at the idiots at Equifax? By going into competition with them. Starting next week, I’m selling my PII (Personally identifiable information) on the dark web for only $1.

Equifax: watch out!