If you support the Tinker decision — and we do — then you have to support the right of these kids to wear or wave a Confederate flag.
A Southern California man’s relaxing day at the beach came to an unpleasant conclusion this week. After taking down a drone that was hovering over his group of friends by throwing his T-shirt at it, Augustine Lehecka found himself behind bars at the Vista County jail, the San Diego Union-Tribune reported.
If some asshole’s drone were hovering over me or outside my window, I’d want to knock it down, too.
On the other hand, laser pointers are being used to distract airplane pilots. You can report incidents to the FAA, but they haven’t been able to do shit about it so far. Maybe the drone operators could put their toys to some socially-useful purpose and track down the laser-pointer guys?
Perhaps women are tired of the sensitive Alan Alda types and want what Joanie Sommers sang about many years ago:
Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me
In a naked attempt to show up Mayor de Blasio, NYS Governor Andrew “Whackadoodle” Cuomo sent the state cops to Times Square to prevent women from exposing their nipples.
You can commit any crime you want in the city without Cuomo batting an eyelash, but if you show off your nips (it’s legal, by the way), Cuomo will call out the cavalry.
“I believe this activity is illegal. I believe it is infringing on legitimate businesses. I believe it is infringing on the investment that the state and the city made in the 42nd Street area, and I believe it has to be stopped. I believe it is illegal. I believe we have to enforce the law and clean it up and we will.” — Governor Andrew Cuomo
We’re pleased to endorse Graham’s proposal to roll back the 14th amendment so that it only applies to white people. But we expect the honorable gentleman from South Carolina to be the first to provide proof that his ancestors came here legally.
The Oath Keepers are an anti-government group that claims they’re defending the U.S. Constitution. Big whoop.
But when they announce that they will arm blacks in Ferguson, Missouri, that’s when I get interested. Apparently they believe that the Second Amendment is not just for white people.
The Bitemaster is a huge fan of both the pro-police TV show “Cops” and the anti-police website “Photography is Not a Crime.” Trying to harmonize the two, here’s what he’s come up with:
- We need a law that says if you want to record the police, you have to stay 25 feet away. I figure that any closer and the police have reason to think you’re going to interfere with or endanger them.
- Police shouldn’t be allowed to order someone to “turn around and put your hands behind your back” without first saying “you’re under arrest.” Once you hear that you’re under arrest, you’re on notice that resisting is illegal.
- Police shouldn’t be allowed to say “you’re not under arrest, you’re just being detained.” That’s bullshit. If you’re not free to go, you’re entitled to the constitutional protections of an arrestee — including Miranda warnings, legal representation, and the right to remain silent.
- Police officers who aren’t in uniform shouldn’t be allowed to make arrests. A prudent person seeing someone in mufti with a gun has every reason to fear he’s being robbed — even if the gun-toter claims he or she is a police officer.
- I think “stop and frisk” is both unconstitutional and ineffective. But if we have to use it, we should give every person stopped $100. That way, people will say, “I was hassled by the cops again today, but at least I got $100 out of it.”
- If you say “fuck you” to a cop without provocation, they should be allowed to smack you around. Police are ordinary human beings, not paragons of virtue.
- We should enact a Riot Act, wherein public officials could give a crowd an hour to disperse or face arrest.
- Police officers — and everyone else — should be prosecuted when they commit perjury.
- If police officers commit a crime, prosecute and jail them. But leave their pensions alone.
This list is neither perfect nor exhaustive. But I think it’s a step towards clarifying the interactions between the police and the citizenry, both of whom need to operate without keeping a constitutional lawyer on call.
Matthew Sanchez was working at the Albuquerque 911 dispatch center when he received a call from a woman who was performing CPR on a gunshot victim. Apparently the caller annoyed Sanchez, because he told her “OK, you know what ma’am, you could deal with it yourself. I’m not gonna deal with this, okay?”
Did Albuquerque Fire Chief David Downey punish Sanchez? No way! He promoted Sanchez to a job where Sanchez gets the same pay without having to do any work.
I don’t know about you, but I’d be willing to insult as many people as necessary to qualify for that swell gig.
In New York City, Uber is running television ads saying how they really care about people in minority neighborhoods and how they’re creating thousands of new jobs. Airbnb ran ads touting how they help little old ladies put their boychiks through college. And the Rent Stabilization Association (trade association of NYC landlords) ran ads telling how their real purpose is to create affordable housing.
Based on valuation by recent investors, Uber is worth about $50 billion and Airbnb is worth about $20 billion. The Rent Stabilization Association’s members control about a million apartments, worth in the tens of billions of dollars.
I’d say “bite me,” but first I have to go and throw up.