God mocks Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz’s father, Rafael Cruz, announced last year that Ted had decided to run for president after God spoke to Ted’s wife, Heidi.

Ha ha! God was only fooling!

It turns out that the Almighty wants Donald Trump to be the Republican candidate and maybe — God help us — President.

As for Hillary and Bernie, it looks like God is still undecided.

Source: Ted Cruz’s Dad: My Son Ran for President After God Sent His Wife a Sign | Mother Jones

Kasich says co-eds should avoid parties to avoid sex assault

College women worried about sexual assault should avoid “parties where there’s a lot of alcohol,” Republican presidential candidate John Kasich said Friday.

It makes sense to me. Similarly, college men who want to avoid being assaulted should avoid drunken parties. And, If they want to avoid being killed by hazing, they shouldn’t pledge a fraternity.

Likewise, there are plenty of parks and neighborhoods that I would advise everyone to avoid at night.

This isn’t “blaming the victim.” This is just plain common sense.

Source: Kasich says co-eds should avoid parties to avoid sex assault – NY Daily News

Schneiderman gives Goldman Sachs sweetheart deal

Yesterday, state and federal officials announced a $5.1 billion settlement with Goldman Sachs, resolving accusations that the bank behaved irresponsibly in the lead-up to the 2008 financial crisis. But, the New York Times reports, the deal’s fine print reveals that number may ultimately be much lower.

“They appear to have grossly inflated the settlement amount for P.R. purposes to mislead the public, while in the fine print, enabling Goldman Sachs to pay 50 to 75 percent less,” Better Markets founder Dennis Kelleher told the Times.

Source: Creative Accounting Could Shave As Much As $1 Billion Off Goldman’s $5 Billion Settlement for Creative Accounting

FBI Quietly Admits to Multi-Year APT Attack, Sensitive Data Stolen | Threatpost | The first stop for security news

If the FBI can’t prevent government computers from getting hacked, what is that they do?

We know that they don’t protect YOU from getting hacked, they don’t help you get your data back, and they don’t prosecute hackers.

Perhaps, after you’ve been comprised, they borrow your hard drive and plant their own trojan on it.

https://threatpost.com/fbi-quietly-admits-to-multi-year-apt-attack-sensitive-data-stolen/117267/

Why is jury pay so low?

Cecil Adams (the world’s smartest man) was asked why juror pay is so low. Unfortunately, he never gets around to answering the question. So the Bitemaster will step up and tell you: it’s because they can.

After all, why should the gummint waste money on a poor schlub like you when they have more important things to fund, like cheese museums, bridges to nowhere, or pay increases for themselves?

If it were up to the Bitemaster, juror pay would be set somewhere around the minimum wage. It might not help you, but at least your nanny wouldn’t lose her home because she had to serve.

Source: The Straight Dope: Why is jury pay so low?

Slave Owner University honors the late Antonin Scalia

The school announced that it would name their school the Antonin Scalia School of Law, abbreviated ASS Law and ASSoL.

George Mason University, named after notorious Virginia slave owner George Mason, is honoring Antonin Scalia by naming their law school in his memory.

Did the University do this out of their high regard for the late Supreme Court Justice? Nah. The Charles Koch Foundation and another donor ponied up $30 million, in return for which the University agreed to change their law school’s name. What I want to know is how much we’d have to pay GMU to get them to change the name to The Bite Me School of Law?

Source: Scalia law school switches name after acronym becomes joke

You can read the Dean’s letter about the name, the funding, etc.

Bill Gates on “Meeting Students Where They Are”

Bill Gates writes about two historically Black colleges which take low-income students and students with poor grades. These two schools, Johnson C. Smith University and Delaware State University, give their students the support and remediation that they need in order to succeed in college.

But here’s what struck me:

Both institutions collect and analyze huge amounts of data to track students throughout their college careers. If a student taking a psychology quiz gets a failing grade, it triggers an email or phone call from a counselor to find out what went wrong and how to get that student back on track.

Gates was impressed that both schools are using data analytics to improve the quality of the education that they provide. The other thing he liked is that both schools are innovative.

So we learn what catches Bill Gates’ attention: innovation coupled with rigorous data analysis.

Source: Meeting Students Where They Are | Bill Gates | LinkedIn

In Syria, militias armed by the Pentagon fight those armed by the CIA

Syrian militias armed by different parts of the U.S. war machine have begun to fight each other on the plains between the besieged city of Aleppo and the Turkish border, highlighting how little control U.S. intelligence officers and military planners have over the groups they have financed and trained in the bitter five-year-old civil war .

It’s something of an open secret that the Bitemaster is not very knowledgeable about foreign policy, but then neither is the U.S. government.

Source: In Syria, militias armed by the Pentagon fight those armed by the CIA – LA Times

Thousands want GOP to let angry voters bring guns to Republican convention in case of ISIS attack

“O God, puhleeze let Dick Cheney bring his shotgun to Quicken Loans Arena (where the Republican convention will be staged) so he can shoot some more Republican donors.”

Source: Thousands want GOP to let angry voters bring guns to Republican convention in case of ISIS attack