Bride’s Dad Stops Wedding So Stepdad Can Walk Down The Aisle Too

Bride’s Dad Stops Wedding So Stepdad Can Walk Down The Aisle Too

The Bitemaster has gone all soft on you today. After years of documenting people being assholes, I sometimes have to take a break and recognize a person being just plain decent.

When Todd Bachman’s daughter got married last weekend, he wanted to make sure that her stepfather was recognized at the wedding in some way. After all, her stepdad had helped raise her.  So when it came time to walk his daughter Brittany down the aisle, Bachman stopped the procession, ran to the front row and grabbed her stepdad Todd Cendrosky in order to share the honor of walking their daughter down the aisle.

Awwwwww . . .

Now back to excoriating jerks.

Source: Bride’s Dad Stops Wedding So Stepdad Can Walk Down The Aisle Too

De Blasio launches $12M plan to help tenants avoid eviction; Biteme rejoices, briefly

Mayor de Blasio launched a plan Monday to hire lawyers to help tenants fight off evictions and avoid becoming homeless.

When we heard that de Blasio has a plan to prevent people from becoming homeless, we were thrilled. The idea is that the city will help tenants fight evictions, thus keeping them in their apartments and out of the shelters.

The bad news is that, according to the often-prescient Prof. Hell, the majority of people who actually get evicted in New York City either cannot afford their rent or cannot maintain their apartments in a safe condition (they’re hoarders).


Source: De Blasio launches $12M plan to help tenants avoid eviction

Why all true Americans hate Pope Francis

Pope Francis When Pope Francis goes around comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable, it just gets my goat. Like any patriotic American, I believe in the American Dream of wealth and fame. If we could just give free enterprise a real chance in this country, we would all be rich like Donald Trump or Kim Kardashian. But Francis wants jack-booted thugs to seize our homes and give them away to the lazy Mexicans who have already taken all our jobs. He’s probably not even a Catholic. Remember how he washed the feet of that Muslim girl? Would a real Catholic do that? I don’t think so. I heard he’s not even Italian. Weird, isn’t it? If you don’t believe me, listen to Alex Jones’s radio program.

Scalia Forms Search Committee for New Pope

According to the New Yorker magazine, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia said today that he was forming an “independent search committee” to select a new Pope.

I’m sorry it had to come to this. The Pope said he doesn’t want to speak out against abortion and gay marriage. Well, sorry, my friend, but that’s the entire job description. You should have thought of that before you let them blow that white smoke in Rome.

Source: Scalia Forms Search Committee for New Pope – The New Yorker

Rep. Steve King sets Pope Francis straight

Abortion and gay marriage? Yes. Inequality and climate change? No.

Iowa Congressman Steve King has explained what Pope Francis should talk about when he addresses Congress today:

I’m hopeful that Pope Francis will speak to these two issues: One is the church’s unfailing and steadfast opposition to abortion, the position that life begins at the moment of conception and it ends at natural death, and the dignity of every human person. That’s a position of the Roman Catholic Church that’s really unassailable and I’m hopeful that that position will be reiterated from the floor of Congress next week. I’m looking forward to that. Second component that is so strong among the Catholic Church is the position of marriage, and it being between a man and a woman.

King is an idiot.

Source: Steve King: Here’s what the Pope should talk about

Ted Cruz is more nuanced, but says about the same thing.

Ahmed the Clockmaker

In the midst of a social media backlash joined by the likes of Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama, police announced Wednesday that the teen’s arrest on Monday resulted from a “naive accident” that doesn’t warrant prosecution.

Young Ahmed Mohamed brought a homemade electronic clock to school. Teachers thought it could be a bomb, police were called, kid was hauled off in handcuffs.

  1. In a world of “If you see something, say something,” I think the school did the right thing by calling the cops.
  2. If the cops didn’t call in the bomb squad — and as far as I can tell, they didn’t — then they didn’t think it was really a bomb. And if they didn’t think it was really a bomb, there was no reason to arrest the kid.
  3. As for the handcuffs, if the local police use them on white students, then they’re ok to use on Ahmed.
  4. Lastly, Obama has invited the kid to the White House and both Bristol and Sarah Palin have weighed in against. Who cares?

Source: Ahmed Mohamed swept up, ‘hoax bomb’ charges swept away as Irving teen’s story floods social media | Dallas Morning News

DeBlasio’s Law Department says murder victim should have known ‘risks’ of public housing

In July of 2013, Olivia Brown was murdered by a vagrant in the Lincoln Houses. The following year, her mother Crystal Brown, sued the New York City Housing Authority (NYCHA), which runs the Lincoln Houses project, claiming that NYCHA’s notoriously lax security was to blame for her daughter’s death.

The Bitemaster is not a lawyer and cannot say whether the City is immune from such suits or whether landlords generally are liable for the murder of their tenants, but the City has introduced a novel defense: they claim it was Olivia’s fault for living in the dangerous Lincoln Houses.

If you’re in a baseball stadium watching a game and you’re hit by a foul ball, you generally can’t sue. The doctrine is called “assumption of risk.” The idea is that baseball fans know the risks of attending a game and take those risks upon themselves.

That’s pretty much what De Blasio’s lawyers are asserting in this case:

“All the risks, hazards and dangers were open, obvious and apparent to [Brown] and said risks, hazards and dangers were openly and voluntarily assumed by [Brown],” said the documents, filed Thursday.

But shouldn’t the risks at least be prominently posted? I propose a sign such as:

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate

Source: City: Murder victim should have known ‘risks’ of public housing | New York Post

‘South Park’ dares wonder whether Caitlyn Jenner ‘is a hero’

Here at the Bitecastle, we never watch “South Park” but the idea that the show would give political correctness a kick in the ass does have a certain appeal for us. That’s because we think it’s important to question pretty much any orthodoxy.

On the other hand, we generally refer to Caitlin Jenner as “she” because it’s polite to use the language that she prefers.

Source: ‘South Park’ dares wonder whether Caitlyn Jenner ‘is a hero’

Biteme hails new NYPD policy on white collar criminals

One-time tennis star James Blake was body-slammed to the sidewalk and handcuffed by the NYPD, in first instance of new police policy.

New York City Police Commissioner William Joseph Bratton CBE has clarified that the recent outrage over the violent takedown of James Blake outside the Grand Hyatt Hotel is misplaced, saying, “The NYPD will no longer coddle white collar criminals. In the past, those accused of so-called street crimes got body slammed while the white collar guys got to arrange through their attorney for a quiet surrender to authorities. No longer. From now on, all suspected crooks get body slammed, thrown to the ground and handcuffed. It’s only fair.”

When asked about Blake being black as well as being the wrong guy, Bratton said, “Mistakes get made and and when we make them, we apologize. So far, both the Mayor and I have apologized to Mr. Blake. What more does he want from us? Blood?”

When pressed about the arresting officer, James Frascatore, being in plainclothes, not identifying himself as a police officer, and having a documented history of excessive force, the Commissioner said, “sit down already, let someone else ask a question, ok?”

Source: James Blake wants NYPD cop to never have badge, gun again

Note: I made up some of this.

NYPD Cop Charged With Splashing Semen on Woman He Wanted to Date

New York City police Sergeant Michael Iscenko is accused of splashing semen on a female co-worker he had a crush on, hoping it would win her over.

In response to media reports of the incident, a neighborhood 13-year-old boy commented, “I’ve done lots of inappropriate things in the hope of scoring with some chick, but this was just totally gross. Ick!”

Source: NYPD Cop Charged With Splashing Semen on Woman He Wanted to Date – PINAC