Republicans want to screw double-wide purchasers — who are probably Republicans

Rep. Stephen Fincher (the Republican gospel singer from Frog Jump, Tenn.) has introduced a bill in Congress to repeal consumer protections for his white trash neighbors who are gypped by the predatory lending practices of the mobile home (“pre-manufactured”) industry.

Fincher’s reasoning probably goes like this: “If God had wanted these people to get loans on good terms, He would have made them rich like me.” Fincher himself did not just fall off a turnip truck — he’s been receiving millions in government money from both the Feds and the state government.

House Republicans Want To Strip Protections For People Living In Mobile Homes | ThinkProgress.

New algorithm predicts which online posters will be banned from just their first five posts

Your Bitemaster has been successfully flying under the radar for years, writing in the Comments sections of various websites that Hillary Clinton is “an ugly cunt,” calling Ted Nugent “a true American patriot,” revealing that President Obama is “a Kenyan Mau-Mau tar baby,” and sticking up for Louie Gohmert as “the smartest man in Texas.”

Now some Liberal Scientists claim to have devised an algorithm that will single out True Americans and get us banned from Social Media. It’s a Violation of our Second Amendment right to Tell the Truth on the Internets.

Scientists create algorithm that ‘identifies future trolls from just five posts’.

PR firm Porter Novelli realizes they were hired by THAT Indiana

Global PR firm Porter Novelli was recently engaged by the state of Indiana to try to undo the damage done by the state’s passage of a Religious Freedom Restoration Act. The Act was intended to legalize discrimination against gays, lesbians, and anyone else that Hoosiers think are “icky.”

The firm will get an initial $2 million for their services with more later if the job requires it. Which it will.

When asked about their new client, firm CEO Karen van Bergen said, “Shit, you mean it’s that Indiana? The one that stepped in the poo on the gay thing? We’re fucked — just totally fucked.”

Indiana Returns to Anti-Gay Stance While Wasting Millions in Taxpayer Money.

Having studied Republican playbook, Carly Fiorina vomits forth a Big Lie

Carly Fiorina, the failed Republican businesswoman, recently said that Hillary Clinton “lacks accomplishment.”

Leaving aside Fiorina’s trail of business and political failures, let’s review some of Clinton’s accomplishments:

  • Attorney (Yale Law School, law review)
  • Partner, Rose Law Firm
  • Co-founder, Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families
  • Board member, Arkansas Children’s Hospital Legal Services, Children’s Defense Fund, Legal Services Corporation, Wal-Mart Stores
  • U.S. Senator, eight years
  • U.S. Secretary of State, four years

Fiorina could have come up with actual reasons for not supporting Clinton, but she chose to make shit up instead.

Carly Fiorina: Hillary Clinton Is ‘An Inspiration’ But ‘Lacks Accomplishment’.

If you use a pharmacy in Georgia, better hope the pharmacist isn’t a Christian Scientist

Georgia pharmacists can refuse to fill prescriptions that violate their conscience, so it’s best to grill your pharmacist in advance about what prescriptions they’re willing to fill, so you don’t get caught without your pain pills, chemotherapy meds, contraceptives, or nitroglycerin.

Letting the government mess with the practice of pharmacy sure is a mixed blessing.

Walmart uses Georgia ‘conscience clause’ to refuse woman’s miscarriage treatment.

Assholes hold convention in Cumberland County, Pennsylvania

By RV, covered wagon, and tricked-out limo, assholes from all over Pennsylvania are flocking to Cumberland County to listen to asshole speakers, attend asshole symposiums, and check out the booths of asshole vendors.

Attendees are expected to include the student who wouldn’t stand for the Pledge of Allegiance, the atheist association that jumped on the publicity bandwagon, the school nurse who wouldn’t provide medical treatment to the offending student, and the clueless guidance counselor.

At least the Carlisle Area School District hasn’t said anything stupid yet.

Atheists slam school nurse for refusing to treat student who won’t stand for Pledge of Allegiance.

Christian terrorist murders 150, pastor says that he fully supports the family and stands by him

In March, German Lutheran Andreas Lubitz piloted a Germanwings airplane into the French Alps, killing all 150 aboard.

It’s not clear at this time whether Rev. Michael Dietrich’s church in Montabuar was where Lubitz was groomed for his terrorist mission, but it’s unquestionable that Lutherans have been notoriously Christian for hundreds of years.

The Christian threat is not limited to Germany, however. In recent years, Christians have been infiltrating the US government and now make up a majority of both the Supreme Court and the Congress. Fortunately, the presidency is still safely in the hands of a Muslim.

Andreas Lubitz’s Pastor Speaks Out, Offers Support for Lubitz Family and Community.

God Almighty endorses Maine Family Planning!

When this year’s fundraising at Maine Family Planning came up short, the Christian Civic League of Maine declared that its prayers had successfully defunded abortion in Maine.

But God was mightily pissed at the pride shown by the opponents of women’s reproductive freedom and chose to send them a sign. The sign came in the form of more donations to the feisty family planners, eventually surpassing their goal by 20%.

As it says in Psalms, Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.”

Anti-Abortion Group’s Effort To Defund Family Planning Clinics Backfires Spectacularly | ThinkProgress.

Pat McElraft wants to make sure the doctor who performs your abortion doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing

North Carolina state Rep. Pat McElraft is sponsoring legislation that will prevent medical schools in the state from training doctors in how to perform abortions.

You’re thinking “Who cares? I’m not stuck in the fetid swamp known as the Tar Heel State.” But it does matter, since the University of North Carolina is one of the country’s top five OB-GYN residency programs, so there’s a fair chance your OB-GYN trained there.

Oh well, it’s back to the coat hanger. Only this time, it will be wielded by an actual M.D.

Abortion Opponents Are Quietly Going After One Of The Top Medical Schools In The Country | ThinkProgress.