Send for the Burn Unit!

Andrew Tate tweeted:

Hello @GretaThunberg

I have 33 cars.

My Bugatti has a w16 8.0L quad turbo.

My TWO Ferrari 812 competizione have 6.5L v12s.

This is just the start.

Please provide your email address so I can send a complete list of my car collection and their respective enormous emissions.

Greta Thunberg tweeted back:

yes, please do enlighten me. email me at smalldickenergy@getalife.com

Source: Greta Thunberg Tweets At Troll | HuffPost Latest News

Rep. Ted Lieu (D-Calif.) BURNS Scott Pruitt

Poor Administrator Scott Pruitt. He’s been under fire for his corrupt practices at the EPA. Fortunately, Ted Lieu has sprung to his defense in a recent tweet:

Dear @realDonaldTrump: Dem wave continues to get stronger. So now I’m thinking, please don’t fire @EPAScottPruitt. He’s such a great symbol of the corruption and fraud, waste & abuse in your Administration.

Can you please do more toxic rallies & bring Pruitt with you? Thanks. https://twitter.com/justinjm1/status/982628769184829441 

Radioactive water leaks into groundwater at Indian Point, Cuomo forms task force

Radioactive water leaked into the groundwater at the Indian Point nuclear facility, officials said Saturday.

In response to the nuclear leak at Indian Point, NY Governor Cuomo has formed an expert working group to be headed by former EPA head Christine Todd Whitman. Her chief of staff is expected to be Michael DeWayne “Brownie” Brown. Flint Michigan Emergency Manager Ed Kurtz was briefly considered for a position with the working group, but was rejected as “too qualified.”

Source: Radioactive water leaks into groundwater at Indian Point – NY Daily News

New Hampshire militant busted after buying grenades to bring back ‘the original Constitution’

Daniel E. Musso Sr., 54, of East Kingston, New Hampshire, who wants to get back to the “original Constitution,” was arrested by the FBI on Wednesday after he purchased grenades from an undercover agent, telling him he had another $200,000 on hand to buy C-4 explosives and “rocket-type stuff.”

Here at the Biteme International Headquarters and Hot Dog Emporium, we love the idea of returning to the original constitution. Just think of it:

  • We can own slaves!
  • No more pesky women voters!
  • No more income tax!
  • But poll taxes are back!
  • No more Interstate Highways!
  • And the return of the privately owned toll road!
  • No more Pure Food and Drug Act!
  • No more Sherman Antitrust Act!
  • No more child labor laws!
  • No more Environmental Protection Agency!
  • No more direct voting for Senate!
  • No more Second Amendment!

And, finally, my personal favorite:

  • Unlimited presidential terms for Obama!

Source: New Hampshire militant busted after buying grenades to bring back ‘the original Constitution’

Scalia Forms Search Committee for New Pope

According to the New Yorker magazine, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia said today that he was forming an “independent search committee” to select a new Pope.

I’m sorry it had to come to this. The Pope said he doesn’t want to speak out against abortion and gay marriage. Well, sorry, my friend, but that’s the entire job description. You should have thought of that before you let them blow that white smoke in Rome.

Source: Scalia Forms Search Committee for New Pope – The New Yorker

God unleashes ‘Relentless wall of water’ upon Texas as punishment for Gov. Abbott opposition to gay marriage

Texas Governor Greg Abbott, a Republican, reiterated his support for the state’s ban on gay marriage in February. Now God has retaliated by unleashing floods of Biblical proportions, sweeping away several of Abbott’s constituents in a wall of water.

Abbott has said the damage caused by flash-flooding in Central Texas is “absolutely devastating . . . absolutely massive . . . [with] relentless tsunami-type power.” If that doesn’t convince the Gov that God has a message for him, he’s dumber than we thought.

Source: ‘Relentless wall of water’: Texas Gov. Abbott declares state of disaster in 24 counties after heavy flooding

God smites North Carolina

In 2012, North Carolina passed a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage in the state:

Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts.

In response, the Almighty has polluted the North Carolina drinking water with lead, vanadium, and hexavalent chromium. Brimstone (i.e., sulfur) is, no doubt, coming soon.

Source: More North Carolina Residents Warned Of Contaminated Drinking Water | ThinkProgress

Global Warming Alarmists Are Unpatriotic Racists, says Pat Sajak

Actually his complete tweet was

I now believe global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends. Good night.

I concede that Sajak is a better game show host than your Bitemaster. But when it comes to politics, we’re both just blowhards. Though Sajak has 48 thousand Twitter followers and the Bitemaster has . . . less than that.

Pat Sajak Trolls: ‘Global Warming Alarmists Are Unpatriotic Racists’.

Why Bill Bratton should work on lead paint abatement

Bill Bratton, who helped Rudy Giuliani take credit for New York City’s crime reduction in the 1990s, is returning to the Police Commissioner’s job under incoming mayor Bill de Blasio. The first thing he should tackle is environmental lead.

According to Cecil Adams (“the only man smarter than the Bitemaster”) and Kevin Drum (a writer for some blog), the rise and fall of crime in the US in the 20th century closely tracks the rise and fall of environmental lead.

Yup, Bratton and Giuliani owe their careers to the lead paint and leaded gasoline bans enacted by the Consumer Product Safety Commission and Environmental Protection Agency.

The Straight Dope: Does no more lead in gasoline = less violent crime?.