Feel free to fill in your own joke.
It’s been rumored for months, but now Biteme can exclusively report that our sources have confirmed that New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo is running against NYC Mayor de Blasio this year.
Cuomo has named the campaign organization Fix NYC. A campaign manager has not yet been named, but knowledgeable insiders expect it to be Joe Percoco, if his trial ends in an acquittal. The campaign slogan will be “Vote for Cuomo not the homo..”
Cumo’s key strategy will be to starve the MTA and NYCHA of funds, then blame de Blasio for their failures. The campaign plans to run advertising touting the governor’s many successes, such as preventing radioactive leaks at Indian Point, posturing about safety at homeless shelters, sending state troopers into the City to make it safe for the Peace Loving residents there, ending the scandal of nipples in Times Square, and putting an end to corruption in Albany.
What ever happened to “personal responsibility”? Do the leaders and representatives from Texas expect their voters to pay for their own disaster relief? Naaah. They want the federal government (i.e., you) to pony up.
I lied! I said I wouldn’t blog about Trump, but here I’m doing it already!
My subject line says it all.
Republican Michigan governor Rick Snyder wants Feds to save Flint Michigan residents from the poisonous drinking water their Tea Party leaders are piping into their homes. Fortunately Obama has a soft heart. If it were up to me, I’d tell them to . . . wait for it . . . BITE ME!
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Professor Michael Vitiello, of University of the Pacific law school in Sacramento says, “There is something very interesting, seeing conservatives suing on job discrimination claims because suddenly they are portraying themselves as victims. This case is filled with all sorts of ironies.”