Cuomo? Oy!

Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo and the New York State Democratic Party both acknowledge the existence of a false piece of campaign material that wrongly implied that his primary opponent, Cynthia Nixon, was anti-Semitic.

The execrable mailer, which Cuomo denied any knowledge of, apparently came from the New York State Democratic Committee. Not only is Cuomo the de facto head of that committee, but as far as I can tell, every single Cuomo mailing in the recent primary came out of that committee.

Sources: New York Times, New York Daily News.

Biteme Exclusive: Andrew Cuomo running for Mayor of NYC!

It’s been rumored for months, but now Biteme can exclusively report that our sources have confirmed that New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo is running against NYC Mayor de Blasio this year.

Cuomo has named the campaign organization Fix NYC. A campaign manager has not yet been named, but knowledgeable insiders expect it to be Joe Percoco, if his trial ends in an acquittal. The campaign slogan will be “Vote for Cuomo not the homo..”

Cumo’s key strategy will be to starve the MTA and NYCHA of funds, then blame de Blasio for their failures. The campaign plans to run advertising touting the governor’s many successes, such as preventing radioactive leaks at Indian Point, posturing about safety at homeless shelters, sending state troopers into the City to make it safe for the Peace Loving residents there, ending the scandal of nipples in Times Square, and putting an end to corruption in Albany.

Bradley Tusk searching for a patsy to run against de Blasio

Ex-Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s former campaign manager is running a new campaign — to unseat his boss’ nemesis Mayor de Blasio.

You heard it right. Tusk, who represents Uber, the PBA, and FanDuel, wants to help pick New York City’s next mayor. So why doesn’t he run for mayor himself? After all, he’s been described as a “genius.”

He can’t afford to run. Scores of his business interests depend upon the largess of government and he would have to cut his ties with them in order to serve in public office.

Source: Ex-Bloomberg aide leads 2017 push to replace de Blasio

Ooopsie! Obama, Cuomo and De Blasio shut barn door after the cows have left

The East Harlem shelter where a man was nearly decapitated by a mentally-ill resident was raided by cops on the hunt for hidden weapons.

Correction! The Bitemaster saw a headline that refereed to the “DHS” and jumped to the conclusion that it was referring to the Department of Homeland Security. In fact, the article was referring to the NYC Department of Homeless Services. The Bitemaster regrets the error and promises to never, ever make a mistake again.

Now that Deven Black has been murdered at a Harlem homeless shelter, public officials are falling over each other to show that they’re doing something about his tragic death.

Obama sent in the Department of Homeland Security. WTF? The murder was both horrible and senseless but it had nothing to do with national security.

Governor Cuomo ordered the City to post an officer at the shelter until the DHS is done there. What the City needs is more state funding for rent subsidies, shelters and mental health services.  Instead, it gets a meaningless gesture by a Governor whose current preoccupation is with showing that his is bigger than the Mayor’s.

De Blasio has assigned 24/7 peace officers and extra staff at intake centers and residences. This, at least, is useful, if too late for Mr. Black.

The city’s homeless problem goes back over thirty years. Thanks to city and state initiatives, housing for poor people was replaced by housing for the well-to-do, and tens of thousands were ejected from state mental hospitals to fend for themselves on city streets.

It’s a sorry mess, exacerbated by homeless advocates who opposed crackdowns on criminals in the shelters.

Does the Bitemaster have a solution? Not really. But he thinks that the return of Class B Multiple Dwellings (i.e., housing for poor people) and improved mental health services would go a long way. Even if it’s too late to save the life of Deven Black.

Source: DHS cops raid Harlem shelter where man was killed – NY Daily News

Biteme exclusive: Cuomo announces for Mayor!

In a move that shocked no one familiar with NY politics, Governor Andrew Cuomo today announced that he is running for Mayor of New York City. Cuomo declared, “I can do the job better than De Blasio. Hell, it could do both the governor’s job and the mayor’s job and still be better than De Blasio.”

When asked what would distinguish his mayoralty, Cuomo pointed out that one of the hardest aspects of the mayor’s job is the city’s dependence on Albany for funding. “I figure if I hold both titles, Mayor Cuomo won’t have to go hat in hand to Governor Cuomo for funding. I’ll have the inside track. It’ll be just two men in a room, not three. The city will get the money it needs and the rest of NY state won’t have to listen to the incessant whining of that big baby, De Blasio.”

As for the future role of Comptroller Scott Stringer, rumor has it that he’ll be Cuomo’s Lt. Mayor running mate.

In move to seize control of NYC government from Mayor De Blasio, Cuomo sends in the State Police

The move is seen as the latest skirmish in his feud with Mayor Bill de Blasio.

In an announcement from his NYC bunker, Governor Andrew Cuomo said today that “the peace-loving people of New York City have asked the state government to bring order and stability to their city. In response, I have directed the State Police to come to the aid of all loyal segments of the City population. As the first stage of the mission, I am pulling investigators from various state and federal task forces and dispatching them to secure the City’s transit hubs, media offices and government buildings. Once we install officials devoted to the City’s best interests, a People’s Tribunal will be convened to bring justice to the enemies of the People.”

Source: Cuomo Orders More State Police Into NYC to Boost His Presence Here: Sources

Coverup! Cuomo sends State Police to Times Square to stop bare nipples

In a naked attempt to show up Mayor de Blasio, NYS Governor Andrew “Whackadoodle” Cuomo sent the state cops to Times Square to prevent women from exposing their nipples.

You can commit any crime you want in the city without Cuomo batting an eyelash, but if you show off your nips (it’s legal, by the way), Cuomo will call out the cavalry.

Source: NYS police attempt to crackdown on naked painted ladies

Mayor De Blasio and Governor Cuomo are crazy for nipples!

Mayor de Blasio on Thursday floated the idea of tearing up the popular pedestrian plaza to rid the area of the topless painted ladies.

“I believe this activity is illegal. I believe it is infringing on legitimate businesses. I believe it is infringing on the investment that the state and the city made in the 42nd Street area, and I believe it has to be stopped. I believe it is illegal. I believe we have to enforce the law and clean it up and we will.”  — Governor Andrew Cuomo

Source: De Blasio idea: Eliminating Times Square pedestrian plazas

Source: Topless Women Are Bringing Back the ‘Bad Old Times Square’