“For any other governor in America, this would be earth-shattering,” Cynthia Nixon said on Friday of the corruption conviction of Alain E. Kaloyeros. “But in Andrew Cuomo’s Albany, it was just a Thursday.” https://nyti.ms/2ulJvEA https://twitter.com/NYTMetro/status/1017922651136970753/photo/1
Sanofi’s sleeping pill Ambien has a long list of potential side effects, from dizziness to diarrhea to a midnight food binge. Racism is not among them, the French drugmaker said on Wednesday.
Sanofi responded after Roseanne Barr blamed “Ambien tweeting” for a racial slur against former Obama administration adviser Valerie Jarrett.
“While all pharmaceutical treatments have side effects, racism is not a known side effect of any Sanofi medication.”
Michael R. Caputo, Republican political consultant and friend of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, on what it’s like to be grilled by Mueller’s team of attorneys:
“They weren’t pulling any punches, I don’t think I’m going to be friending them on Facebook any time soon.”
Poor Administrator Scott Pruitt. He’s been under fire for his corrupt practices at the EPA. Fortunately, Ted Lieu has sprung to his defense in a recent tweet:
Dear @realDonaldTrump: Dem wave continues to get stronger. So now I’m thinking, please don’t fire @EPAScottPruitt. He’s such a great symbol of the corruption and fraud, waste & abuse in your Administration.
Can you please do more toxic rallies & bring Pruitt with you? Thanks. https://twitter.com/justinjm1/status/982628769184829441 …
After President Trump called Colin Kaepernick (and other athletes who have protested against racial injustice) “that son of a bitch,” Teresa Kaepernick, Colin’s mom, fired back: “Guess that makes me a proud bitch!”
Ted Cruz’s Twitter account “liked” a porn video; later Cruz said it was a mistake resulting from a “staffing issue.” Sure, tell me another one.
In response, Jimmy Kimmel explained that ‘Ted Cruz masturbates to pictures of poor people without health care.’ Burn! (Watch the Kimmel video here: Kimmel Reveals What Ted Cruz Really Masturbates to: ‘Poor People Without Health Care’ (Video).
Cory Chase, the actress in the porn video, says that Cruz “pirated that video. He should have paid Reality Kings for a subscription.” Double burn!
Nicki says: “I’m 87 years old and the only thing that doesn’t hurt is my artificial hip.”
Mr Mild says: “I have an idea for American Ninja Warriors — Senior Edition. Four guys in their 70s sit in chairs. After 5 minutes, the one who can get up without saying Ow! gets 10 points.”
Good one! Though the Bitemaster thinks the White House press corps should disband. Desk jockeys back in the newsroom can read and fact-check the tweets and faxes just as well.
“Hey Donald, I have a great idea. Why don’t we switch jobs? You take over TV, because you’re such an expert in ratings, and then I take over your job and then people can finally sleep comfortably again,”