Hot Steaming Mess at White House Correspondents’ Association

The annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner featured comedian Michelle Wolf as this year’s headliner. Apparently her jokes caused some controversy.

Donald Trump hated Wolf’s performance, saying she “totally bombed (couldn’t even deliver her lines-much like the Seth Meyers weak performance).” Ha ha! Seth Myers totally killed at the dinner in 2011!

Publications such as The Hill were scandalized by Wolf’s routine, as were several journalists. (They should reread Martin Niemoeller’s famous poem.)

WHCA President Margaret Talev issued a groveling apology to her members. Why? Because her organization handles credentialing of the journalists who cover the White House and she is probably afraid that Trump will take that away from her.

Does it matter? Not really; there’s really no need for credentialed White House correspondents anymore. The latest insight into the President’s thinking doesn’t come from his press office, it comes from his Tweets.

What we need from the mainstream media these days is rigorous analysis, historical context and investigative journalism, which they do . . . passably.

Source: Journalists Push Back On Correspondents’ Association’s Response To Michelle Wolf | HuffPost

Gen. Kelly takes second swig of the Kool-Aid

Remember when Secretary of State Rex Tillerson called Trump a “moron”? And then was forced to walk it back?

“He [Trump] loves his country. He puts America and Americans first. He’s smart. He demands results wherever he goes and he holds those around him accountable for whether they have done the job he has asked them to do.”

Hey, Rex: that was some serious groveling!

Now on to General John F. Kelly, current White House Chief of Staff. It had looked to us here in the Bitecastle like Kelly had brought some much-needed order to the chaotic Trump White House. Then the poor guy started hitting the Kool-aid, and hitting it hard.

In October 2017, Congresswoman Frederica Wilson (D-FL) criticized Trump for his phone call to the widow of a slain U.S. soldier, saying his remarks had been insensitive. A few days later, Kelly held a press briefing where he defended Trump’s phone call, which he had overheard, saying Trump “expressed his condolences in the best way that he could.” He harshly criticized Wilson, calling her “the empty barrel that makes the most noise” and stating that in a 2015 speech she had “stood up” to inappropriately claim credit for securing federal funding for an FBI building in her district. Video of her 2015 speech showed his description to be inaccurate. [Wikipedia]

Then Kelly took his second swig:

In an October 2017 interview with Laura Ingraham, Kelly claimed that “the lack of ability to compromise led to the Civil War.”

. . .  Two historians of the Civil War described Kelly’s remarks as ignorant, a misuse of history reminiscent of Lost Cause mythology, and they broadly reject that a failure to compromise led to the war, noting that a number of compromises on slavery were made in the lead-up to the war. [Wikipedia]

Jimmy Kimmel Reveals What Ted Cruz Really Masturbates to: ‘Poor People Without Health Care’

Ted Cruz’s Twitter account “liked” a porn video; later Cruz said it was a mistake resulting from a “staffing issue.” Sure, tell me another one.

In response, Jimmy Kimmel explained that ‘Ted Cruz masturbates to pictures of poor people without health care.’ Burn! (Watch the Kimmel video here: Kimmel Reveals What Ted Cruz Really Masturbates to: ‘Poor People Without Health Care’ (Video).

Cory Chase, the actress in the porn video, says that Cruz “pirated that video. He should have paid Reality Kings for a subscription.” Double burn!

Schneiderman gives Goldman Sachs sweetheart deal

Yesterday, state and federal officials announced a $5.1 billion settlement with Goldman Sachs, resolving accusations that the bank behaved irresponsibly in the lead-up to the 2008 financial crisis. But, the New York Times reports, the deal’s fine print reveals that number may ultimately be much lower.

“They appear to have grossly inflated the settlement amount for P.R. purposes to mislead the public, while in the fine print, enabling Goldman Sachs to pay 50 to 75 percent less,” Better Markets founder Dennis Kelleher told the Times.

Source: Creative Accounting Could Shave As Much As $1 Billion Off Goldman’s $5 Billion Settlement for Creative Accounting

Biteme announces Presidential endorsement

LAKE BAIKAL, RUSSIAN FEDERATION — Mar 4, 2016:  This morning, Rudolfo Biteme, Chairman and CEO of the Biteme Media Group, announced that Biteme, the world’s finest news source that nobody reads, is endorsing Donald John Trump for President of the United States. Mr. Biteme said, “Donald Trump embodies the Biteme values of maximum bluster and minimum facts that have guided my entire media career. He also has a very big penis.”

Source: GOP candidates clash in debate, attack Trump’s credentials

Correction: Biteme neglected to to mention that a related entity, the Biteme Gazette, had already endorsed Trump for President. We regret the error.

Sleazy museum to clear up ‘suggested’ fee confusion

The Metropolitan Museum of Art will alter its cashier signs to make it clearer to patrons that $25 is only the “suggested” price.

The change is part of a deal settling one of two lawsuits which accused the Met of subtly coercing art lovers to pay the $25 with tiny signs that describe the fee as “recommended.”

One group of plaintiffs is willing to settle with the sleazy Metropolitan Museum of Art, while the other plaintiffs want to tighten the thumbscrews some more.

The Bitemaster, who’s blogged about this before, thinks waterboarding might be called for.

Source: The Met to clear up ‘suggested’ fee confusion – NY Daily News

Sanders campaign accessed Clinton voter data

Bernie Sanders apologized to Hillary Clinton in the third Democratic debate hosted by ABC News after his staffers accessed Clinton’s voter data. “Yes, I apologize,” he said when asked whether Clinton was owed an apology. “I very much appreciate that comment, Bernie,” Clinton responded.

Quick summary: A Bernie Sanders staffer accessed Clinton voter data on a DNC computer. DNC cut off Sanders campaign’s access to DNC voter data. Sanders sued DNC, fired staffer, apologized to Clinton. DNC restored access.

Sounds like everyone is happy now.

But just a day before, Sanders campaign manager Jeff Weaver accused the DNC of theft:

Two million contributions have come in. Those contributions paid for the data that the DNC has stolen. Those voters and volunteers — that’s their data. That’s not Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s data.

It was a classic Big Lie.

Sanders accused the DNC of theft, but if there was any theft, it was Sanders’ employees who stole Clinton’s voter data.

A new kind of candidate?

Bullshit.

Source: Bernie Sanders Apologizes to Hillary Clinton Over Accessing Voter Data – Yahoo

Having studied Republican playbook, Carly Fiorina vomits forth a Big Lie

Carly Fiorina, the failed Republican businesswoman, recently said that Hillary Clinton “lacks accomplishment.”

Leaving aside Fiorina’s trail of business and political failures, let’s review some of Clinton’s accomplishments:

  • Attorney (Yale Law School, law review)
  • Partner, Rose Law Firm
  • Co-founder, Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families
  • Board member, Arkansas Children’s Hospital Legal Services, Children’s Defense Fund, Legal Services Corporation, Wal-Mart Stores
  • U.S. Senator, eight years
  • U.S. Secretary of State, four years

Fiorina could have come up with actual reasons for not supporting Clinton, but she chose to make shit up instead.

Carly Fiorina: Hillary Clinton Is ‘An Inspiration’ But ‘Lacks Accomplishment’.

Indiana Governor Pence Insists New Law Has Nothing To Do With Thing It Explicitly Intended To Do

Addressing the controversy surrounding his state’s recently signed Religious Freedom Restoration Act, Indiana governor Mike Pence forcefully insisted to reporters Monday that the new law has nothing at all to do with what it was explicitly intended to do. “Let me state directly that in no way is this law designed to allow the kind of anti-gay discrimination that is the law’s single reason for existing,” said Pence, emphasizing that provisions authorizing businesses to refuse service to gay customers were nothing more than the only explanation for the law being drafted in the first place. “Regardless of the widespread misconceptions surrounding it, I want to reassure Hoosiers of all backgrounds that this law will never be interpreted in the way it was unambiguously designed to be from the very beginning.” Pence further clarified that the act’s sole purpose was in fact to safeguard the free exercise of religion it was in no way whatsoever created to protect.

via Indiana Governor Insists New Law Has Nothing To Do With Thing It Explicitly Intended To Do | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.