Hot Steaming Mess at White House Correspondents’ Association

The annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner featured comedian Michelle Wolf as this year’s headliner. Apparently her jokes caused some controversy.

Donald Trump hated Wolf’s performance, saying she “totally bombed (couldn’t even deliver her lines-much like the Seth Meyers weak performance).” Ha ha! Seth Myers totally killed at the dinner in 2011!

Publications such as The Hill were scandalized by Wolf’s routine, as were several journalists. (They should reread Martin Niemoeller’s famous poem.)

WHCA President Margaret Talev issued a groveling apology to her members. Why? Because her organization handles credentialing of the journalists who cover the White House and she is probably afraid that Trump will take that away from her.

Does it matter? Not really; there’s really no need for credentialed White House correspondents anymore. The latest insight into the President’s thinking doesn’t come from his press office, it comes from his Tweets.

What we need from the mainstream media these days is rigorous analysis, historical context and investigative journalism, which they do . . . passably.

Source: Journalists Push Back On Correspondents’ Association’s Response To Michelle Wolf | HuffPost

An open letter to NYC Mayor de Blasio

Dear Jackass,

Now that your secret emails have become public, we’ve learned how much you hate the media. Apparently you never read Robert Townsend’s Up the Organization (1970), especially the part where he warns not to put anything in writing that you don’t want to come out later.

In response, you headed over to Room 9 to throw a hissy fit. In true Trumpian fashion, you didn’t apologize, you doubled down and flung further attacks on all three of the city’s newspapers.

You could have said, “As Mayor, you take a lot of heat. It’s part of the job and every Mayor has to deal with it. But sometimes it gets under your skin, so you vent to friends and associates. Afterwards, you go back to your job of doing the best you can for the citizens of this great city.”

That would have been my advice, But what do I know? I’m just a blogger here in the Transbaikal. I suggest that the next time the yak dung hits the fan and you’re thinking of holding a presser, you first consult with Mrs. Presser.

Sincerely,

Jerome Biteman, Editor
www.biteme.me

Giuliani stumbles into another fiasco

Washington Post roasts Giuliani’s media performance: Opinion | Giuliani stumbles into another fiasco

I say it’s time to just throw random questions at America’s Mayor and watch what happens:

  1. Do you think Trump’s casinos will make money this year?
  2. Have you tried Trump Vodka?
  3. Who’s in charge of the Trump legal strategy?
  4. Does the President plan to sleep with any more porn stars?
  5. Who’s a better lawyer, Jay Sekulow or Ty Cobb?
  6. How long will it take you to get up to speed on the facts?
  7. Have you ever paid off a porn star for yourself?
  8. Have you ever paid off a porn star for a client?
  9. What kind of messes do important attorneys like yourself clean up for their clients?
  10. How do you know that there was no collusion between the President and Putin?

Don’t forget the popcorn!

NRA is now the voice of the Alt-Right culture warriors

The NRA may be quiet in public in the days following the latest mass school shooting—but its online TV outlet has not missed a beat.

Over the past two days, NRA TV has gone after both law enforcement for bungling the shooting and media outlets for calling for more expansive gun laws. Host Dan Bongino accused the New York Daily News of being both “pure filth” and “not worthy of collecting dog excrement”—aka actual filth. Host Dana Loesch called for protesters to march “to the FBI offices” for its failure to act on the numerous reports it received that the shooter, Nikolas Cruz, was dangerous and potentially unstable. Grant Stinchfield, another NRA TV host, added his thoughts on the Fourth Estate on Monday, suggesting reporters were eager for another shooting to push a gun control agenda.

Source: NRA Usually Shuts Up After Mass Shootings. Not This Time.

NYC Parks & Rec pulls down naked Donald Trump statue

Some jokers put up a statue of a naked Donald Trump in Union Square. The statue portrays a lumpy overweight man with surprisingly normal-sized hands but undersized genitals.

After the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation removed the statue, department spokesperson Sam Biederman explained the reason:

NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.

Source: NYC Parks & Rec pulls down naked Donald Trump statue — then brilliantly mocks him in a statement

Trump’s path to victory

Stephen Bannon, the executive chairman of Breitbart News LLC, is the new CEO of the Trump campaign.

Stephen Bannon, the executive chairman of Breitbart News LLC, is the new CEO of the Trump campaign.

Everyone (i.e., the left-leaning pundits that the Bitemaster follows) says that Bannon will just “let Trump be Trump,” which will lead to further plummeting poll numbers.

Not quite so fast. I hereby predict that Bannon will not try to rein in Trump, but while Trump continues saying stupid stuff on the campaign trail, Bannon, a master of negative research, will be in the background, quietly feeding the mainstream media a continuing stream of of negative stories about Hillary Clinton. Topics will include the Clinton Foundation, Hillary’s email troubles, Benghazi, Hillary’s health, and aides Cheryl Mills and Huma Abedin.

Just remember: you heard it here first, folks!

Ari Fleischer on the Trump maelstrom

Ari Fleischer, Bush press secretary

Ari Fleischer, Bush press secretary

Ari Fleischer, a press secretary in the George W. Bush White House, said Trump’s repeated calamities have “made it harder for people like me to be for him.” But he still intends to support the New York businessman over Clinton.

“Donald Trump says horribly offensive things that rattle me and bother me deeply. Hillary Clinton has done horribly bad things in terms of her personal ethics, in terms of her governmental ethics,” he said. “Trump has done it with his words. She’s done it with her deeds.”

Fleischer handled it like a pro.

Source: Trump tries to stop the bleeding

PR firm Porter Novelli realizes they were hired by THAT Indiana

Global PR firm Porter Novelli was recently engaged by the state of Indiana to try to undo the damage done by the state’s passage of a Religious Freedom Restoration Act. The Act was intended to legalize discrimination against gays, lesbians, and anyone else that Hoosiers think are “icky.”

The firm will get an initial $2 million for their services with more later if the job requires it. Which it will.

When asked about their new client, firm CEO Karen van Bergen said, “Shit, you mean it’s that Indiana? The one that stepped in the poo on the gay thing? We’re fucked — just totally fucked.”

Indiana Returns to Anti-Gay Stance While Wasting Millions in Taxpayer Money.

Lobbyist won’t drink the Kool-aid!

Dr. Patrick Moore, a  Monsanto lobbyist, claimed in a recent interview that glyphosate, the active ingredient in Monsanto’s Roundup herbicide is safe for humans to drink. “You can drink a whole quart of it and it won’t hurt you,” he says. But when offered a glass of the stuff by the interviewer, Moore turns it down, saying “I’m not stupid.”

Hey, Pat! Here’s a tip that all the old PR hands will tell you: Either don’t claim one can safely drink a quart of the client’s weed killer or swig down the glass with a smile.

Lobbyist claims Monsanto weed killer is safe to drink, then bolts when TV host offers him a glass.

Liberals can’t write a decent headline

So the Bitemaster was perusing the home page of the Fiscal Policy Institute, home to a bunch of liberal economists. Some of the headlines there were:

  • Examining the Final Report of the Pataki/McCall Commission
  • New Report Examines Shale Drilling Impact
  • Immigration Reform 2013-14: Will Comprehensive Reform Bring More Jobs for Americans?

Snoozeville!

Now compare some headlines from the American Enterprise Institute:

  • Potholed U.S. roads are a creation of Washington
  • How Obamacare kills jobs
  • Still exceptional: Liberals want to evade the responsibilities of American exceptionalism

Now those are some hot headlines!