Trump and North Korea — the Bitemaster weighs in

Now that President Trump has met with Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un and signed some sort of agreement, the world has been clamoring for my reaction to this momentous event.

  1. Trump is the world’s worst negotiator. He gave Israel what they wanted when he moved the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem, but he got nothing in return. Now he’s given Kim what he wanted: international legitimacy. And again got nothing in return. And, to sweeten the deal for Kim, Trump agreed to halt the “very provocative” military exercises that the U.S. holds in South Korea.
  2. It looks to me like Trump is forming a new Axis of Evil, consisting of the U.S., Russia and North Korea.
  3. Mr Mild points out that Trump’s recent actions are indistinguishable from what he would do if he were being given orders from Moscow. (“Comrade Trump, attack Mexico, piss off Canada, undermine the E.U. and kiss up to North Korea. This will make you one Great Leader.”)

On the other hand, Professor Hell points out that every time I try to see a plan in Trump’s actions, I’m wrong. And so it goes.

Drugmaker Sanofi trolls Roseanne Barr

Quote

Sanofi’s sleeping pill Ambien has a long list of potential side effects, from dizziness to diarrhea to a midnight food binge. Racism is not among them, the French drugmaker said on Wednesday.

Sanofi responded after Roseanne Barr blamed “Ambien tweeting” for a racial slur against former Obama administration adviser Valerie Jarrett.

“While all pharmaceutical treatments have side effects, racism is not a known side effect of any Sanofi medication.”

Source: Sanofi to Roseanne: Racism Not Among Ambien’s Side Effects – Bloomberg

An open letter to NYC Mayor de Blasio

Dear Jackass,

Now that your secret emails have become public, we’ve learned how much you hate the media. Apparently you never read Robert Townsend’s Up the Organization (1970), especially the part where he warns not to put anything in writing that you don’t want to come out later.

In response, you headed over to Room 9 to throw a hissy fit. In true Trumpian fashion, you didn’t apologize, you doubled down and flung further attacks on all three of the city’s newspapers.

You could have said, “As Mayor, you take a lot of heat. It’s part of the job and every Mayor has to deal with it. But sometimes it gets under your skin, so you vent to friends and associates. Afterwards, you go back to your job of doing the best you can for the citizens of this great city.”

That would have been my advice, But what do I know? I’m just a blogger here in the Transbaikal. I suggest that the next time the yak dung hits the fan and you’re thinking of holding a presser, you first consult with Mrs. Presser.

Sincerely,

Jerome Biteman, Editor
www.biteme.me

Giuliani stumbles into another fiasco

Washington Post roasts Giuliani’s media performance: Opinion | Giuliani stumbles into another fiasco

I say it’s time to just throw random questions at America’s Mayor and watch what happens:

  1. Do you think Trump’s casinos will make money this year?
  2. Have you tried Trump Vodka?
  3. Who’s in charge of the Trump legal strategy?
  4. Does the President plan to sleep with any more porn stars?
  5. Who’s a better lawyer, Jay Sekulow or Ty Cobb?
  6. How long will it take you to get up to speed on the facts?
  7. Have you ever paid off a porn star for yourself?
  8. Have you ever paid off a porn star for a client?
  9. What kind of messes do important attorneys like yourself clean up for their clients?
  10. How do you know that there was no collusion between the President and Putin?

Don’t forget the popcorn!

Quote of the Day: Michael R. Caputo

Quote

Michael R. Caputo, Republican political consultant and friend of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, on what it’s like to be grilled by Mueller’s team of attorneys:

“They weren’t pulling any punches, I don’t think I’m going to be friending them on Facebook any time soon.”

Source: ‘It’s all about collusion’: Former Trump adviser details interview with special counsel’s team – ABC News

NRA Convention Bans Guns To Protect Mike Pence

Feel free to fill in your own joke.

Source: NRA Convention Bans Guns To Protect Mike Pence. Parkland Survivors’ Jaws Drop. | HuffPost

Cf. http://biteme.me/thousands-want-gop-to-let-angry-voters-bring-guns-to-republican-convention-in-case-of-isis-attack/

And https://www.cnn.com/2016/09/16/politics/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-guns-secret-service/index.html

The Bitemaster reveals Trump’s future

As everyone knows, the Bitemaster rarely engages in prognostication but, just this once, he’s going to reveal what Special Counsel Robert Mueller has in store for Donald Trump:

A RICO indictment.

At least in the Eighth Circuit*, a proper RICO claim must allege the following four elements:

  1. conduct
  2. of an enterprise
  3. through a pattern
  4. of racketeering activity.

How does Trump qualify under RICO?

  1. conduct — this requirement is met when the defendants carry out the directions of the enterprise, or direct the enterprise themselves.
  2. of an enterprise — I’m less sure about this one, but the Trump Organization might qualify
  3. through a pattern — Oh, Lordy, is there a pattern!
  4. of racketeering activity — many different crimes qualify for this, such as obstruction of justice.

Q.E.D.

* Different circuits have slightly different rules on this, but the Eighth Circuit was the easiest to find in a quick Web search.

Questions I’d like to ask President Trump

  1. What will you do to Robert Mueller after you fire him?
  2. Do you plan to sleep with any more porn stars?
  3. What’s the best part of being Commander in Chief of the world’s strongest army?
  4. Why don’t you just lock up Crooked Hillary?
  5. Will you grant yourself a pardon?
  6. In the war between Amazon and Walmart, which side are you on?
  7. Which country has spent the most at Mar-a-Lago since you became President?

 

Hat-tip to “Stuttering” John Melendez!

Rep. Ted Lieu (D-Calif.) BURNS Scott Pruitt

Poor Administrator Scott Pruitt. He’s been under fire for his corrupt practices at the EPA. Fortunately, Ted Lieu has sprung to his defense in a recent tweet:

Dear @realDonaldTrump: Dem wave continues to get stronger. So now I’m thinking, please don’t fire @EPAScottPruitt. He’s such a great symbol of the corruption and fraud, waste & abuse in your Administration.

Can you please do more toxic rallies & bring Pruitt with you? Thanks. https://twitter.com/justinjm1/status/982628769184829441