Republican Alternatives To Obamacare

I didn’t think there were any Republican alternatives to Obamacare, but the dogged journalists at America’s Finest News Source tracked them down:

Repeating the phrase “you can keep your current doctor” over and over until something happens
Loosening regulations to allow Americans to ship ill and injured family members to cheaper doctors overseas
Whatever the opposite of tyranny is
Allowing sick Americans to choose how they exhaust their life savings on a single medical bill, even if it’s out of plan
A true market-based solution—perhaps a convenient website—where uninsured people would pay for their own health insurance from private providers
$2,500 cash incentive to the first person who cures cancer
A health care law that won’t allow the disgrace of another Benghazi
Unsettling language and several ominous-looking graphs labeled “Obamacare” followed by a breezy smile and soothing, unspecific words

BiteMe