Biteme exclusive: Cuomo announces for Mayor!

In a move that shocked no one familiar with NY politics, Governor Andrew Cuomo today announced that he is running for Mayor of New York City. Cuomo declared, “I can do the job better than De Blasio. Hell, it could do both the governor’s job and the mayor’s job and still be better than De Blasio.”

When asked what would distinguish his mayoralty, Cuomo pointed out that one of the hardest aspects of the mayor’s job is the city’s dependence on Albany for funding. “I figure if I hold both titles, Mayor Cuomo won’t have to go hat in hand to Governor Cuomo for funding. I’ll have the inside track. It’ll be just two men in a room, not three. The city will get the money it needs and the rest of NY state won’t have to listen to the incessant whining of that big baby, De Blasio.”

As for the future role of Comptroller Scott Stringer, rumor has it that he’ll be Cuomo’s Lt. Mayor running mate.

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