Obama wins mandate, Republicans react

Seeing Obama swept to a 3-2 rout in the Electoral College, Republicans are reacting:

Karl Rove said, “They fucking stole it from us. Once this thing gets to the Supreme Court, you’ll see that we had it in the bag all along.”

Paul Ryan said, “That pussy Al Gore couldn’t even take his home state.”

Mitch McConnell  said, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for Obama to be a two-term president.”

Richard Mourdock criticized the President’s victory, saying, “Barack Hussein Obama violated the mercy rule by crushing us. I’m really annoyed by his lack of bipartisanship.”

Donald Trump whined, “This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy!”

Today’s quiz: Which of the above quotes is real?

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