The Catholic Church is considering tapping convicted child rapist Jerry Sandusky as its next pope, The Daily Currant can reveal.

According to sources inside the Vatican, the Church believes the unorthodox move would aggressively rebut the “political correctness” of “secular elites” who in recent years have dared to challenge the institution’s rich tradition of systematically protecting child predators from justice.

I believe this is the first I’ve heard of The Daily Currant. These guys are so good, I’m considering retiring and leaving the snarky coverage of the news to them.

Catholic Church Considering Jerry Sandusky as Next Pope | The Daily Currant.