Your Bitemaster booked a cruise to the Lethargy Zone for himself, the Bitemistress and all the little bitty biters. After studying the travel brochures, he had visions of lying on a white sand beach with waitresses in bikinis bringing him Mai Tais. Unfortunately, somebody screwed up the paperwork and the family ended up at the Balea Ice Hotel in — as God is my witness — Cîrţişoara, Romania.
The local sherpas bring in news of the outside world several times a week and, if the reports are to be believed, the Trump administration is hard at work lobbing grenades at everything good and sacred about the United States.
In theory, the Bitemaster could keep posting from here, but turning the crank on the old Soviet-made generator gets tiresome really fast.
So what can you do in lieu of your daily dose of the bracing reality of BiteMe.Me? I propose that you watch Fox News and assume that everything is the opposite of what they say. For example, if Fox News says that the Trump Administration is running like a fine tuned machine, assume that it’s more like a beater with a broken crankshaft. If Fox reports that left-wing agitators are being bused into New Hampshire, it means that right-wing agitators are being bused into New York. If Fox News says the GOP has a splendid replacement for Obamacare, it means that medical care will be available to the highest bidder.
In the meantime, Noroc !