How should Merkel respond to Trump insults?

Trump has been attacking Germany and Chancellor Angela Merkel since before he took office. Yet Merkel’s responses have been unnecessarily tame. She should have consulted me.

I have been drinking deeply from the bescumbered river of Trump’s tweets and can state with authority that the following riposte would get his attention:

I slept with Melania and she said that your dick is so small that she needed a magnifying glass to find it, but it didn’t matter since it’s been years since you could get it up.

Source: Ex-NATO Amb. Burns: Trump insults distract from Germany-Russia issue

Thanks to Novobatzky and Shea’s Depraved English, Maledicta, and Jeremy Sherman.