Trump has been attacking Germany and Chancellor Angela Merkel since before he took office. Yet Merkel’s responses have been unnecessarily tame. She should have consulted me.

I have been drinking deeply from the bescumbered river of Trump’s tweets and can state with authority that the following riposte would get his attention:

I slept with Melania and she said that your dick is so small that she needed a magnifying glass to find it, but it didn’t matter since it’s been years since you could get it up.

Source: Ex-NATO Amb. Burns: Trump insults distract from Germany-Russia issue

Thanks to Novobatzky and Shea’s Depraved English, Maledicta, and Jeremy Sherman.